Adrian’s Story

Coming to apas saved my life – literally, I had been drinking 4 or 5 litres of White Lightening cider a day for the past 5yrs and my liver was quite badly damaged, I was told that if I didn’t stop drinking I could be dead within a year.

My drinking started to get heavy after I split up with my first long term girlfriend, we had been together for about 4yrs and I thought she was the one, until she left me for someone else, I was gutted. I always used to go out with my mates on a Friday night but after we split up I was out Thursday, Friday and Saturday night “drowning my sorrows”. 6mths later I was out every night even when my mates weren’t. It just kind of crept up on me.

I used to work in retail, but after a while I used to miss days cos I felt so rough and when I was in I was desperate to get home and start drinking again. After 6mths of phoning in sick, coming in late, making mistakes and looking rough they sacked me.

Without my job I couldn’t afford my rent anymore so I moved back home with my Mum and my younger brother, he’s a heavy drinker as well so we used to stay at home and drink together – it was cheaper than going out. Without work to occupy my time I used to get bored in the day and started drinking around lunchtime, Mum used to nag me all the time - get another job, help with the housework, eat your dinner, stop drinking, we argued all the time.

What we put her through, both me and my brother, sat around doing nothing but drinking and watching TV all day. She would go out to work to pay the bills as all of our dole money went on booze, then she would come home and do the washing and cleaning, cooking meals that we usually didn’t eat.

As time went by I used to start drinking earlier in the day and finish later at night. I would drink till I passed out – usually in the early hours of the morning - then wake up a few hours later tired but unable to get back to sleep. I kept a can by my bed to drink as soon as I woke up, I got the shakes really bad and although that first drink made me retch I needed it to stop rattling and face the day.

One day I was so ill I thought I was going to die, I had really bad stomach pains, I was vomiting and retching.  The shakes were so bad that I couldn’t hold my drink, let alone stand up. I eventually managed to get some cider down me which calmed me down but it really scared me, Mum took me to our doctor and he gave us the number for apas.

My apas worker was brilliant, I was really nervous at first but they were nice and listened to what I had to say and told me about what my options were and helped me understand how alcohol was affecting me. I was terrified at the thought of stopping but after the news about my liver I knew I didn’t have any choice. I didn’t know how I was supposed to cope without drink, I hadn’t been sober for about 4yrs.

My apas worker referred me to the Priory for an in-patient abstinence based programme, which lasted for about four weeks, and then I started going to AA meetings twice a week after that. Despite my worries about being in a group I found the meetings really useful and everyone was so kind and supportive. I was among people who understood what it was like to have an alcohol problem.

When I went into the Priory my apas worker visited me to see how I was getting on, which was great and after I finished the programme I was getting support from all over the place! I went to my AA meetings, I went to Priory aftercare and I started going to Double Impact. Because of my liver problems apas put me in touch with the alcohol liaison team at Queens Medical Centre, who were brilliant, and I still saw my apas worker as well!

8mths on I am still sober and I feel great. I have started doing some IT courses at Double Impact, they also helped me with my CV and put me in touch with the agency who helped get me my voluntary job with adults with learning difficulties. I have 6mth checks with the team at the QMC to keep an eye on my liver – so far so good and I still go to aftercare on Fridays at the Priory and my AA meetings on Sundays and Tuesdays.

From time to time I pop in to say hi to my apas worker and we have a coffee and a chat and its nice to know they still have time for me!